Prejudice: any preconceived opinion or feeling, either favorable or unfavorable
Fact; Everyone is prejudice.
Let me explain. You will never meet anyone who does not have some sort of prejudice towards others. It could be that they are prejudice towards a religion, the way someone dresses or talks, ethnicity or financial status. Most of us have prejudices we are not even aware of. We are either surrounded by those who have the same, so it is not brought to our attention or we are just so over-careful that it causes us to have a prejudice.
Racism: a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human races determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one's own race is superior and has the right to rule others.
Prejudice is often confused with racism, however they are not the same. Having a preconceived opinion or feeling does not imply that you feel superior, whether your opinion or feeling is favorable or unfavorable. Prejudice relates to more than human races or cultural differences. You may even have a prejudice towards an act, style or belief prominant in one race or culture. This does not make you racist unless you feel superior to those acts, styles or beliefs.
We are often misunderstood when it comes to prejudice. I have several prejudices and if you really searched within yourself, you do too. I have a preconceived opinion when I see a large group of guys wearing saggy pants, swearing and being disrespectful. I automatically assume trouble and I lock my doors to be cautious. If this is prominant in a particular race, does it make me racist? No. I am prejudice towards the style of clothes and the actions. I don't feel superior to these people, but I also don't feel safe around them.
Prejudices are also in the picture on a positive note. You could say that a prejudice could be a bias opinion. If my son is in a competition with another child, I want my son to win, so I am prejudice on his behalf. I don't have a preconceived opinion or feeling towards the other child, just my own. My opinion for my son is positive, but still prejudice.
Being prejudice is normal and should be acceptable. Having a prejudice should not imply hatred or anger. The important thing to remember is that prejudice is FAVORABLE just as much as unfavorable. When you hear someone say they have a bias opinion, it is the same as a favorable prejudice.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Questioning Reason
Everyone has reasons for making choices in life. We may not always know what it is at the time, and other times we have over analyzed every possible consequence surrounding our choices to give us an explainable reason. I feel it is absolutely acceptable to question another persons reason and decisions. It is very important when we question their reason to have an open mind and try to understand their thoughts. This does NOT mean that we have to agree with them.
Let's get into a topic that everyone may feel differently about for different reasons. Homeschool versus public or private school. I understand why some choose to homeschool, but I don't agree with it. This does not mean that I will not be friends with them or support them in their choice. It simply means it is not the right choice for me based on my own personal reasons. Just as public or private school is not the right choice for them based on their personal reasons. If I were to be asked by someone why homeschooling is not for me, I would be completely honest and list off all the pros and cons that I have thought about and why my reasoning for one was a better choice to me over the other. It is very possible that everything I think is a pro, is a con to the other. Therefore our reasoning will not be the same. There also will be those who have all the same pros and cons, and that is what led them to homeschool. Same reasons, different choice.
We also can have several people that make the same choice, but have different reasons for doing so. It is still acceptable to question their reason, even if you agree on the final decision. It is important to understand each other more than to just agree on the final outcome. I may feel that a structured learning environment, where social skills are developed daily is one reason for not homeschooling, and another may feel that they don't have the patience to stay home and stay on schedule is their reason for not homeschooling. Different reasons, same choice.
My point is, it is typically not a personal attack on you when someone has a different translation of their reason than you. I can not judge a parent who chooses to homeschool. The negatives that I view on the topic does not mean I feel those negative things about them personally. I also can not judge a parent who chooses public or private school for a different reason. The pros to the final outcome are not automatically associated to these people on a personal level. Just because someone makes the same choice as me, does not mean I will agree with everything they do.
The world is so defensive these days and has a 'right or wrong' attitude. If you don't do what 'they' say to do, then you are wrong. We need to get over this in our everyday lives. We need to start questioning the reasons behind all the right and wrong and see if our translation of the situation is even the same. Use your own reasoning to make choices that are right for you and keep in mind that others have that liberty also. So if they do it differently than you, they are not wrong either. If we stopped and talked about reasoning and actually listened to others to understand them, we would have a lot more in common than we think.
Let's get into a topic that everyone may feel differently about for different reasons. Homeschool versus public or private school. I understand why some choose to homeschool, but I don't agree with it. This does not mean that I will not be friends with them or support them in their choice. It simply means it is not the right choice for me based on my own personal reasons. Just as public or private school is not the right choice for them based on their personal reasons. If I were to be asked by someone why homeschooling is not for me, I would be completely honest and list off all the pros and cons that I have thought about and why my reasoning for one was a better choice to me over the other. It is very possible that everything I think is a pro, is a con to the other. Therefore our reasoning will not be the same. There also will be those who have all the same pros and cons, and that is what led them to homeschool. Same reasons, different choice.
We also can have several people that make the same choice, but have different reasons for doing so. It is still acceptable to question their reason, even if you agree on the final decision. It is important to understand each other more than to just agree on the final outcome. I may feel that a structured learning environment, where social skills are developed daily is one reason for not homeschooling, and another may feel that they don't have the patience to stay home and stay on schedule is their reason for not homeschooling. Different reasons, same choice.
My point is, it is typically not a personal attack on you when someone has a different translation of their reason than you. I can not judge a parent who chooses to homeschool. The negatives that I view on the topic does not mean I feel those negative things about them personally. I also can not judge a parent who chooses public or private school for a different reason. The pros to the final outcome are not automatically associated to these people on a personal level. Just because someone makes the same choice as me, does not mean I will agree with everything they do.
The world is so defensive these days and has a 'right or wrong' attitude. If you don't do what 'they' say to do, then you are wrong. We need to get over this in our everyday lives. We need to start questioning the reasons behind all the right and wrong and see if our translation of the situation is even the same. Use your own reasoning to make choices that are right for you and keep in mind that others have that liberty also. So if they do it differently than you, they are not wrong either. If we stopped and talked about reasoning and actually listened to others to understand them, we would have a lot more in common than we think.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Intentions of Sarcasm
Sarcasm; A form of irony in which apparent praise conceals another, scornful meaning.
Irony; the use of words to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning
Sarcasm may be a form of irony but they are not the same. Sarcasm is communicated by vocal inflection, intended to be rude, harsh or mean.
An example of irony would be; "What a beautiful day!" when it is raining outside.
An example of a sarcastic remark would be directed at a person who consistently arrives fifteen minutes late for appointments, “Oh, you've arrived exactly on time!”
The difference is mostly in the way you say something and that irony is typically not directed toward a person, where sarcasm is always directed toward a person.
The goal of this post is to expand our thinking on how we interpret the difference between irony and sarcasm. We all use sarcasm, it is a form of humor that we have come to enjoy often, however, there is a fine line between funny and mean. I am very aware of many of my faults and usually I don't need to be reminded about them. Sarcasm is sometimes used as peoples indirect way to deal with conflict, and it is sometimes used as a way for them to belittle and hurt by advertising our faults as jokes. If you are overweight, you know it, you don't need to hear someone call you 'Tiny' as a sarcastic joke because it is hurtful and makes you uncomfortable. When I am asked to do chores, or change diapers and I reply "I would LOVE to" is an example of indirectly avoiding conflict. This could also be considered passive-agressive depending on my tone and body language, but this is not irony. If I change a stinky diaper and say "It smells like roses.", this is irony. It obviously does not smell like roses. The difference is the object the comments are directed towards. Sarcasm is directed at people, irony is directed at things and circumstances. The reason I feel it is important to understand the difference is so that we can communicate better.
So many times I see people get their feelings hurt over something ironic. I am guilty of this also, but we need to look at the situation. Irony is not an attack on anyone. If you buy someone a shirt and they put it on and it is way too small, if they say 'it fits perfect', this is just irony. They are joking about the shirt, not the person who bought it. I think once we start to realize that most people are not out to hurt us or embarass us, we can learn to laugh at ourselves a lot more. Many people don't know how to translate their thoughts into words and it can come out as sarcasm. We need to remember that the way we perceive their translation is not always accurate.
Sarcasm can be funny, as long as the people involved have learned to laugh at themselves. If my clumsy friend wants to try to rollerblade, I may sarcastically suggest we rollerblade near a hospital. If everyone involved in the sarcasm has an open mind and a history with each other, sarcasm can be the best humor. At the same time it is important to consider how you use sarcasm with others. Just as our perception of what they are saying is not always accurate, our translation to them may be perceived differently than intended. There is always room for a misunderstanding.
Irony; the use of words to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning
Sarcasm may be a form of irony but they are not the same. Sarcasm is communicated by vocal inflection, intended to be rude, harsh or mean.
An example of irony would be; "What a beautiful day!" when it is raining outside.
An example of a sarcastic remark would be directed at a person who consistently arrives fifteen minutes late for appointments, “Oh, you've arrived exactly on time!”
The difference is mostly in the way you say something and that irony is typically not directed toward a person, where sarcasm is always directed toward a person.
The goal of this post is to expand our thinking on how we interpret the difference between irony and sarcasm. We all use sarcasm, it is a form of humor that we have come to enjoy often, however, there is a fine line between funny and mean. I am very aware of many of my faults and usually I don't need to be reminded about them. Sarcasm is sometimes used as peoples indirect way to deal with conflict, and it is sometimes used as a way for them to belittle and hurt by advertising our faults as jokes. If you are overweight, you know it, you don't need to hear someone call you 'Tiny' as a sarcastic joke because it is hurtful and makes you uncomfortable. When I am asked to do chores, or change diapers and I reply "I would LOVE to" is an example of indirectly avoiding conflict. This could also be considered passive-agressive depending on my tone and body language, but this is not irony. If I change a stinky diaper and say "It smells like roses.", this is irony. It obviously does not smell like roses. The difference is the object the comments are directed towards. Sarcasm is directed at people, irony is directed at things and circumstances. The reason I feel it is important to understand the difference is so that we can communicate better.
So many times I see people get their feelings hurt over something ironic. I am guilty of this also, but we need to look at the situation. Irony is not an attack on anyone. If you buy someone a shirt and they put it on and it is way too small, if they say 'it fits perfect', this is just irony. They are joking about the shirt, not the person who bought it. I think once we start to realize that most people are not out to hurt us or embarass us, we can learn to laugh at ourselves a lot more. Many people don't know how to translate their thoughts into words and it can come out as sarcasm. We need to remember that the way we perceive their translation is not always accurate.
Sarcasm can be funny, as long as the people involved have learned to laugh at themselves. If my clumsy friend wants to try to rollerblade, I may sarcastically suggest we rollerblade near a hospital. If everyone involved in the sarcasm has an open mind and a history with each other, sarcasm can be the best humor. At the same time it is important to consider how you use sarcasm with others. Just as our perception of what they are saying is not always accurate, our translation to them may be perceived differently than intended. There is always room for a misunderstanding.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Understanding the Concept
Translate; to explain in terms that can be more easily understood; interpret.
Perception; to recognize, discern, envision, or understand
Think about your most recent conversation and the information you gathered. Was it fact? Was it someone elses understanding of fact? Could pieces of information gotten lost in translation? Or misunderstood?
How many times have you explained something to someone multiple times in multiple ways for them to understand? Maybe it is at work and you are explaining how to do a job, or maybe you are out to eat and you need to explain how to have your order made.
Think of every word you use, with your tone and body language. Could you be misunderstood with the most simple topic? The answer is YES. We are always trying to translate something for someone elses understanding, rarely ever considering what they perceive or understand themselves. For example, I was driving the other day with my husband and son in the car, both of which are giving me constant direction and criticism. I start to feel myself getting aggrevated and think "I know how to drive!" Not once did anyone say that I didn't know how to drive. It was my perception of their translating.
The idea of this blog is to dig deeper on the controversal issues surrounding us by getting feedback on how we are perceived and how we translate opinions, ideas and suggestions. I hope everyone understands the concept now of Translating Perceptions and decides to join in on our mind opening conversations and topics.
Perception; to recognize, discern, envision, or understand
Think about your most recent conversation and the information you gathered. Was it fact? Was it someone elses understanding of fact? Could pieces of information gotten lost in translation? Or misunderstood?
How many times have you explained something to someone multiple times in multiple ways for them to understand? Maybe it is at work and you are explaining how to do a job, or maybe you are out to eat and you need to explain how to have your order made.
Think of every word you use, with your tone and body language. Could you be misunderstood with the most simple topic? The answer is YES. We are always trying to translate something for someone elses understanding, rarely ever considering what they perceive or understand themselves. For example, I was driving the other day with my husband and son in the car, both of which are giving me constant direction and criticism. I start to feel myself getting aggrevated and think "I know how to drive!" Not once did anyone say that I didn't know how to drive. It was my perception of their translating.
The idea of this blog is to dig deeper on the controversal issues surrounding us by getting feedback on how we are perceived and how we translate opinions, ideas and suggestions. I hope everyone understands the concept now of Translating Perceptions and decides to join in on our mind opening conversations and topics.
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