Intentions of Sarcasm

Sarcasm; A form of irony in which apparent praise conceals another, scornful meaning.

Irony; the use of words to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning

Sarcasm may be a form of irony but they are not the same. Sarcasm is communicated by vocal inflection, intended to be rude, harsh or mean.

An example of irony would be; "What a beautiful day!" when it is raining outside.
An example of a sarcastic remark would be directed at a person who consistently arrives fifteen minutes late for appointments, “Oh, you've arrived exactly on time!”

The difference is mostly in the way you say something and that irony is typically not directed toward a person, where sarcasm is always directed toward a person.

The goal of this post is to expand our thinking on how we interpret the difference between irony and sarcasm. We all use sarcasm, it is a form of humor that we have come to enjoy often, however, there is a fine line between funny and mean. I am very aware of many of my faults and usually I don't need to be reminded about them. Sarcasm is sometimes used as peoples indirect way to deal with conflict, and it is sometimes used as a way for them to belittle and hurt by advertising our faults as jokes. If you are overweight, you know it, you don't need to hear someone call you 'Tiny' as a sarcastic joke because it is hurtful and makes you uncomfortable. When I am asked to do chores, or change diapers and I reply "I would LOVE to" is an example of indirectly avoiding conflict. This could also be considered passive-agressive depending on my tone and body language, but this is not irony. If I change a stinky diaper and say "It smells like roses.", this is irony. It obviously does not smell like roses. The difference is the object the comments are directed towards. Sarcasm is directed at people, irony is directed at things and circumstances. The reason I feel it is important to understand the difference is so that we can communicate better.

So many times I see people get their feelings hurt over something ironic. I am guilty of this also, but we need to look at the situation. Irony is not an attack on anyone. If you buy someone a shirt and they put it on and it is way too small, if they say 'it fits perfect', this is just irony. They are joking about the shirt, not the person who bought it. I think once we start to realize that most people are not out to hurt us or embarass us, we can learn to laugh at ourselves a lot more. Many people don't know how to translate their thoughts into words and it can come out as sarcasm. We need to remember that the way we perceive their translation is not always accurate.

Sarcasm can be funny, as long as the people involved have learned to laugh at themselves. If my clumsy friend wants to try to rollerblade, I may sarcastically suggest we rollerblade near a hospital. If everyone involved in the sarcasm has an open mind and a history with each other, sarcasm can be the best humor. At the same time it is important to consider how you use sarcasm with others. Just as our perception of what they are saying is not always accurate, our translation to them may be perceived differently than intended. There is always room for a misunderstanding.